I have always done more.
I’m that person that will pick up the slack if someone else is doing less than me. This has caused me a fair amount of stress in the last year at work. My team is monitored on the amount of work they complete every day and this data is released back to the team daily as well. I can visibly see myself doing a larger share of work than other people. Not only can I see it on paper, I can also feel it, physically.
I have Trigeminal Neuralgia, a chronic pain condition, which is also triggered by stress.
I always let things get on top of me and I get anxious very easily. I’ve always thrown myself into my job completely and I take it very seriously. I find myself getting stressed at work at least half of the time. This triggers the pain in my face.
I don’t mean to talk down about anyone I work with and this isn’t a complaint about how anyone else works. This is me being annoyed at myself for doing too much.
This year, I’ve decided to do only my share at work.
I sat down and thought about how I’ve been feeling at work and realised that I’d happily not go back after the Christmas period, if I didn’t really need the money. The only thing I can do to change how I’m feeling is to change how I’m acting.
I can do only my share and I’ll still receive the same wage. I can do only my share and the work will still get done, but by the team as a whole instead of me rushing to see if I can do it all. I don’t need to do everything, because I’m in a team of ten people.
I need to accept that I’m in pain. I need to accept that, sometimes, I need to take a break. I think we can all be guilty of thinking we have to do everything. Maybe it’s important to step back where we can.
Happy New Year – I wish you all the best for 2019! ♡